Monday, March 9, 2009

sometimes He speaks so clearly...

...it's like a knock upside the head. Okay, I get it already.
Anyhow, that was the case for me today. I've been sharing frustrations, and mostly small successes with Amy about our struggles with losing weight. I've been working at it for nearly a year now after my doctor kindly suggested (without saying exactly) that if I'd like to live to see my kids grow old, I'd better take control of my weight. Enough said. I've not dieted, but I've made small lifestyle/eating changes (i.e. portion control) that has equaled a 34# loss so far. The next big stepping stone for me is exercise. I'm signed up for a 5k this weekend which I was planning to run, but without practice, it appears as though I'll be walking most of it.
As I pondered Amy's latest entries, I realized that I'd kinda hit a road block, and have started reverting to old ways. I want to be my best, healthiest self, but it's so easy just to go with what feels good, even when we know it's not what's best.
This afternoon as I opened "My Daily Bread" for some prayers and daily reflection, the words jumped right off the page to me. Certainly, I was to be reading this at this exact moment. The Holy Spirit is working on me, and I do know that God wants me to be my best, healthiest self as well.

" ...I need not be surprised at my changing feelings and moods. They are not the
higher self within me. God will honor me only for what I am trying to be. I
would improve much if I begged His help more frequently by prayer and the
sacraments. Too often I fail to put up a fight against my unreasonable feelings
and blind desires. At other times I try to fight them alone. Only with God's
help can I make any permanent progress. With the knowledge He gives me through
His holy church and with the strength He offers me in His sacraments, I can live
a Holy life in spite of the restless lower self within me.

pray:
Dear Lord, my smallness and weakness are perfectly known to you. Have pity
on me. Pull me out of the mud of self, so that I may not be stuck in it forever.
Consider the labors and trials of my daily life. Please stand by me in my
efforts. Strengthen me in my resolutions. I have often failed because I depended
on myself alone. Now, however, I shall seek advice and direction as often as I
need it. Only in this way can I hope to make progress in true and solid virtue.
Make me wise and honest in my daily efforts, so that I may no longer waste
valuable time. I hope to become at last the kind of person You want me to be.
Without you I can do nothing. Lord, help me. Amen. "

The issues I have with food, and my struggles over the years with weight loss (and trust me they started well before having these beautiful babies) are just one of my many human weaknesses, the "restless, lower self within me." I'm grateful for His support as I continue in the right direction towards the me He wants me to be!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to let you know that I noticed your weight loss last weekend in church. Good for you! Keep it up. If you want a walking partner/group, we walk at 530 almost every morning......let me know!

Jenny P.

Anonymous said...

I wish I would have read this before I ate that piece of chocolate cake...but it has inspiried me to go exercise to try to burn it off. I am printing off the prayer and hope it will help me in MY moments of weakness with food and just in life in general. Thanks, Jamie!

Julie said...

You know, Jaime, that Daily Bread has been an inspiration on more days when I needed it than I can remember!
Jenna was having a really bad day a couple of weeks ago, and I read an excerpt that totally fit her situation that day. I retyped it in an email for her!

I don't think those are always coincidences!

Keep up the good work! When this weather breaks, you will receive even more motivation!

Anonymous said...

Jamie,

I am so glad that you are enjoying "My Daily Bread". I am completely amazed how each day it inspires me.

For everyone reading Jamie's blog...The Silver Cross in Ft Loramie carries this little prayer book. Go get yourself a copy. You won't regret it.