Lord's Prayer

"Give us this day our daily bread..."

Not enough bread for the week, or even the month, and definitely not to last through the teenage years. 
Heaven's no. 
Just enough nourishment to make it through today...the morning scramble and send-off, just that one load of towels, 2 bathrooms to clean, only 1 hour of homework hype, 3 meals, and all the surprises and hugs and snuggles and tears and laughter and music and mayhem leading up to 1 bedtime routine.
Just enough for today Lord.
And tonight we will all rest, for tomorrow is a new day. 
And I will meet you in the morning, and together we'll tackle it again.
One day at a time. 
One moment at a time.
Remind me not worry about what the future holds.  Only help me to remember that You are holding it. 
And today, when I ask, you will provide me with all that I need.
For today.

something for me

Truths about where I've been...

Life with 11 children is full and busy.  Shoot...life with 2 seemed busy from what I can remember that far back.  You get that.

Laundry happens.  And with more of the kids in school now, I'm actually pleased to report that I have nearly mastered a schedule in which socks are folded, and even put away during daylight hours.

These people keep eating (okay, so do I.)   And so there's the planning, purchasing, putting away, and preparing of stuff in order to keep bellies full. 

This van sucks gas.  And I have done more carpooling/transporting/picking-up/dropping-off/cheauffering around in the last 6 months, than I've done in my lifetime.  We only live a block from school for heaven sakes!  How can this be?!!

Somewhere through all this lovely chaos, I've become quite efficient at multitasking and managing and maneuvering. 

I don't think EFFICIENT is what God is calling me to be though.

Reflections on turning 40 this past December, and more self-analyzing with the New Years and resolutions and such...and now even more importantly...considering just how I plan for this Lent to be a transformative season; and how I want to grow closer to God, and become more of the person He created me to be has helped me to realize a thing or two. 
Among them, I've realized that being at the center of all things domestic is good and fulfilling, but not the end-all, be-all of my existence.  Being a wife and mother is enough, and not enough all at once...a beautiful conflicting reality that leaves me (and maybe a lot of women) feeling guilt-ridden and perhaps more than a little "bummed" that something's missing.  Something for me. 

And maybe among lots of other issues...like overeating, and underexercising, and getting more wrinkles and grays, and realizing that parenting teenagers is not at all the same as parenting 3 year olds.  It's time to up my game...learn some things...recognize I don't have much of anything figured out...pray more...yell less...and TRUST that God will give me the tools, but that I need to start asking Him for help more than occasionally. 

I haven't been interested in writing for a long time.  Or maybe I have, but just didn't want to find the time for it anymore. Maybe that would seem selfish...and I'm a team player, after all.  Or maybe I really wasn't interested.  Not sure.
But God keeps dropping subtle messages that maybe its time to make time again.  It's okay to do this.  Only, no pressure this time.  I won't promise a daily post.  Or maybe even weekly.  I'm just trying to listen again.  Listening to that little voice that says "Write this down.  It's important.  It's funny.  You need to do this.  You'll laugh about it someday." 

God is that voice. 

And that voice is something for me.

Because Jesus is the Light of the World!

We've had an Advent Wreath for years.  It's always been the little felt "childrens" version with no real flames.  It could take no more abuse though, flames torn off and repinned, velcro fasteners worn...it was on its way out. 
This is to be our first season with a real, homemade advent wreath, and prayers, and the beginning of a beautiful tradition. 

In usual Jamie-fashion, I was a couple days late getting it together.  But alas, with some greenery and holly berries and a few pine cones from the yard, and yet another trip to the store for candles...we are ready to light it up!  And so at dinner last night we did.  Complete with a little background about the meaning, brief prayers/reflections...it was lovely.

And the best was when little Charlie excitedly interrupted..."Mom, do you know why we light candles and string christmas lights?" 
"Tell my why," I begged.
"Because Jesus IS the light of the world, you know.!" 

Indeed. 

Happy Adventing.

Butterflies from heaven

The other morning, I walked into the kitchen just as the kids were having a conversation about Heaven and what it might be like.  Little John added that he's excited to see his brother Cyril and his kidney. 
"Do you think your kidney is waiting for you in heaven?" I interrupted. 
"Sure," he went on to explain.  "I was born with it, it died, and now it's probably floating around heaven tied to a blue balloon, just waiting for me."  He said very matter-of-factly.

Interesting to me that he thought of things that way.  But I sure didn't try to argue with him...what do I know of the "rules" of heaven?

The kids went on, about how baby Cy was probably with Grandma Alice, and that it would be cool to meet them both someday.  And we joked that maybe Cy wasn't really a boy (we miscarried before we could really know), and that maybe she'd give us all a little grief for naming her all wrong. 

Anyhow, the conversation somehow drifted to who might get to heaven first, and how we might be able to send a sign, or a smoke-signal, or something to the rest of us here, to let us know we made it...and that me met up with Cy and Grandma.  I thought this was genius.  And so after much argument/discussion, we finally settled on purple butterflies.  One for "we made it" and a pair if we're greeted by Cy.  (For the record, Frank voted for a short-tailed squirrel, and Sam said he'd send down Johns kidney/balloon.) 

Very cool.  Hopefully our memory is made perfect in heaven, and someday (many, many moons from now) I can delight my kids on earth with a perfect pair of purple butterflies from heaven.

Happy Advent

I haven't even posted tidbits of our thanksgiving, or updated you on the kids' latest shananigans in weeks.  I've got to tell you about our recent conversation on Heaven initiated by 8 year old John, who's looking forward to meeting his "dead" kidney someday...it's a story that requires sharing...I'll get to it.
But first...since I've failed to aquire a proper Advent wreath in a timely fashion, I'll at the very least share our prayers/reflections with you.  (We'll be using them at home each day with dinner, as well I'll be using them with my 7th grade religion class.)

A blessed Advent to you and yours.

SundayPrayer: To you, my God, I lift my soul. I trust in you.

Monday
Mary and Joseph lived happily at Nazareth, doing their daily work with joy.I will do my daily work well today, and with joy- for God.
Tuesday
Joseph received the order from the Roman ruler to go to Bethlehem and register. He obeyed the order and got ready to go.
I will obey my parents, teachers, and others in charge of me.

Wednesday
Mary got their house ready and began to pack what they would need for the trip. She did so without complaint.
I will not complain today, even if I must do things I do not like.

Thursday
Mary and Joseph traveled by donkey.
I will be happy with the things I have and will not ask my family for more or better things.

Friday
Mary and Joseph ate the food of the poor on their journey.
I will eat healthful foods today rather than those that are not good for me. I will thank God for the food I have and pray for the hungry.

Saturday
After traveling all day, Mary made Joseph a meal, and he found her a resting place.
I will do something special to bring joy to my parents and family today.

"In-de-pend-dent"

Often, I find myself remembering that scene from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer...the scene when Hermey (the dentist elf) is explaining to Rudolph how he was "In-de-end-ent."  And I can't say it without emphasizing each syllable, just like those two did.

Something about 2 year olds learning new tricks, and insisting they do things all by themselves.

In-de-pen-dent.

Anne had one of those moments today.  It cracked me up.

For anyone with older girls who insist on wearing these crazy stretchy headbands to slick back their loose hair/bangs all the time, and are constantly adjusting them as they slide out of place...you'll know why this is so darned funny.

I swear, she wouldn't let me help...and just kept putting them on, taking them off, over and over!

 And finally, happy with her results...this is how she insisted we head out to the grocery store.
Yes.  Lovely.   And independent!

I thought it was just really cool to spend time learning the art of home canning from my mother in law almost 16 years ago.  She was such a patient teacher, and only laughed at me a few times when my ignorance proved too much for her to contain.  Seriously.  I grew up on instant mashed potatoes and hamburger helper, on a good day.  Putting fresh fruit into a jar and hermetically sealing it to last through the winter was a foreign concept to say the least.

Clearly though, in hindsight it's easy to realize it was providential and truly one of God's gifts that she would share these things with me. 

I wouldn't have believed a soul who would have predicted I'd be staying at home raising 11 kids, and most definitely couldn't have imagined the grocery bill to feed them.

Ha!

Over the past week I've been consumed with thoughts of her, as I put up 7 quarts of applesauce and another 12 quarts of apple pie filling; thanks to the last apples of the season from our cousin's trees.  Waste not, want not.

 I so wish she were here to chat about life's crazy moments, and yet I'm sure she's enjoying the view from heaven (and gasping a little when I don't wipe the rim of that jar clean before placing the wax lid!)  {smile}  Just kidding Alice.  Clean as a whistle.  And sealed nicely.

God is good.