Friday, March 7, 2014

Noise

There are times  this house can seem quite loud.  Ok.  It doesn't just SEEM loud.  It is...really noisy.
Imagine girls on giant exercise balls racing; bouncing, bouncing, BOUNCING around the kitchen table.  Meanwhile boys are playing with army heroes and Lego creations.  And anyone with boys knows about the sounds that come with this type of play...constant shooting, whistling, whirring, narrating with animated voices, clicking, ticking, screeching, shooting, and so on.  Even stories about daily events at school are spoken with a voice louder than necessary in order to be heard over all the noise.
Most days I don't even recognize how loud it is.  It's just our song.  The story of days in a home full of life and energy and well, noise.
But there are times.  Some evenings I just want to scream louder than everyone.  (And sometimes I do.)  "QUIET!!!!!!!"
"How can anyone hear anything with all this noise?!"

And then I begin to wonder if that's how I make God feel sometimes.  With all my worrying, and wishing, and overthinking and analyzing.  And the things that distract me, like Facebook, and text messages, desiring more stuff, wondering the "why's," and "how's, and "what-ifs?"
Does he ever just want to scream and get my attention?
Or is He much more  patient than I.
Does he know the story of my life, for he has written it.
And rather than scream, he waits.  And watches, listens, redirects at times, knowing that some day I will have the strength to surrender the stuff that keeps me from hearing, and listening.
He is the peace and quiet.
I am loving This Lent for its reminder to surrender, to be silent (even if only internally), and enjoy the peace only God can give.