Tuesday, January 17, 2012

obedience

It's my word.

Pam over at Roamin Catholic Mom challenged her blog readers to find their "word" for the New Year...a montra, or theme, or thought to ponder/consider. Sort of resolution word.

Mine's easy. Obedience. And already being challenged. Big time.

You see, I've been praying since early December for some clarity in the New Year. Clarity to hear God's call, to recognize it, and more importantly to answer with a resounding "Yes." His joy being my strength and all, I want to please Him. And in doing so, recognize that if He's happy, I'm happy and back and forth. Sounds simple enough, right?

Till he comes calling...

And then I want to say..."is that really you, Lord? Or just a wrong-number? Cause, this doesn't sound like something you really want me to say yes to. Does it? Or does it. Oh Lord, how bout Maybe. Are you okay with maybe? Or how bout Next time. Or Not this thing, but the next thing, I'll for sure say yes then. I promise. Seriously. This doesn't seem like my thing...

Obedience. Ugggh. I stink at that.

The readings all last week weren't much help, either. (Thanks a lot God! You know how to nudge my heart just so, don't ya. Darnit.)

This song at mass on Sunday put me over the edge...oh, He's gooooood.


The Summons

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.


So after a lot of ignoring, and him-hawing, and procrastinating, I gave a reluctant Yes. And now, giggling a little bit, cause hubby's involved in this too. We were asked to speak as a couple at an upcoming marriage retreat. He's reluctant too, but we both commented after mass Sunday that God's pretty clear about what he wants.
Somehow it seems easier to speak about the whole mom and chaos and kids topic, but sharing about our marriage, well...that's a whole 'nother ballgame.
One that's sure to inspire some good conversation and reflection as a couple as we prepare.
Shoot. Maybe that's okay.
Maybe, well maybe the Good Lord knows what he's up to afterall.

Speak Lord, I'm listening. I want to do your will...not? Yes, Jamie. Yes you do.