It dawned on me this morning, as I drove to my weekly ob/gyn appointment, what an ungrateful schmuck I've been here lately. The Holy Spirit was fair in pointing that out. Silent car rides graced by God's gorgeous fall scenery are the perfect time for prayer/reflection...don'tcha think?. And today...I was remembering 11 years ago. I was 7 or so months along in my first pregnancy...and grateful for every moment (good and bad...and trust me there was plenty of bad in those early months) because it meant just that...I was pregnant. After years of prayer and petitioning (and whining and moping) God had entrusted us with the miracle of new life. Every bout of nausea, every ache and pain, every sleepless night was a beautiful reminder of the lives growing inside me. And I couldn't have been more ecstatic and excited! I remembered going into the hospital for routine outpatient IV treatments on the OB unit (suffering from horrific Hyperemesis), and sobbing with joy as one of the nurses treated us to an ultrasound of the little babies growing inside...the first time we could see hands and feet and all that we had been hoping for...God is good!!
And now, as we count down the days till we can hold our newest little one...our 11th here with us...I grump and whine about the discomfort of it all. How ungrateful, Jamie. Truth is, I do find myself taking moments for granted. Forgetting at times how truly magnificent a gift we've been given yet again. I am humbled by God's goodness, despite my inadequacies. I feel privelaged to participate once more in the miracle of creation, and am thankful for the Holy Spirit's hand in reminding me again. Just 6 more days to go (or less.)
I announced at dinner this evening, there will be no more nonsense nesting, no more urges to do more or accomplish more than necessary. Rather mom and baby are going to be "resting up," focusing on the miracle, centering in the here and now, and just appreciating these moments before the arrival. Life is about to change again for all of us here, and I'll be glad to enjoy the simple times of more one on one play with the little ones at home...reading books, playing playdoh, snuggling with them for a movie. Lucy's only my "baby" a few more days, I want to soak that in as well. Scrubbing floors and stripping beds...I'm over that...at least until Monday...the day before "D" day when I do a major laundry marathon to get everyone caught up for a few days while I'm gone. That's only reasonable.
Peace to you and yours this week...
jamie
